5 Steps to Help an Athlete Find their “Why” Beyond Just Winning
Finding one’s “Why” is essential in the development of an athlete. While winning is important, it should not be the end-all-be-all of an athlete’s career. A higher sense of purpose can elevate one’s performance and bring a deeper satisfaction and motivation. In his book “The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life,” Professor William Damon, Ph.D., states:
A true purpose is an ultimate concern. It is the final answer to the question of Why? Why am I doing this? Why does it matter? Why is it important for me and for the world beyond me? Why do I strive to accomplish this end?
To illustrate the importance of Professor Damon’s words, let’s consider the case of Terrance. He was a star basketball player in high school and a blue chip recruit, but upon entering college, he found himself sitting on the bench, struggling with motivation. Recognizing the dip in his enthusiasm and commitment, his basketball coach suggested he speak with the team’s mental skills coach. What follows is a journey through the five steps that helped Terrance discover his “Why” and rejuvenate his love for the game.
Step 1: Self-Reflection
Athletes often get caught up in the routine of practice, games, and wins. To find one’s “Why,” it’s crucial to break this cycle and engage in self-reflection. This involves asking oneself deep questions about their values, passions, and long-term objectives. Is sports a means to an end or an end in itself? What does being an athlete contribute to your personal growth?
Case Study: Terrance Finds his “Why”
When Terrance first met with the mental skills coach, the lack of enthusiasm he was experiencing wasn’t just about basketball; it was a symptom of a deeper issue. He felt as if he was drifting without a defined purpose or objective, which was sapping his motivation. The coach knew that the first step toward reinvigorating his athletic journey was self-reflection, an exercise often overshadowed by physical training and game tactics but equally important.
One of the exercises that the mental skills coach employed with Terrance was the “5 Whys” technique, often used in problem-solving but highly effective for self-reflection as well. The premise is simple but powerful: ask “Why?” five times in succession to get to the root cause of an issue or to clarify one’s feelings and intentions.
Here’s how it went for Terrance:
Example Exercise: The “5 Whys”
- Why are you feeling unmotivated?
- “I’m not getting much playing time, and I don’t see the point.”
- Why does lack of playing time affect your motivation?
- “Because I feel like I’m not contributing to the team’s success.”
- Why is contributing to the team’s success important to you?
- “It makes me feel valuable and like I’m accomplishing something.”
- Why do you want to feel valuable and like you’re accomplishing something?
- “Because it makes me feel like I’m good at something and that I have a role in a bigger picture.”
- Why is feeling like you have a role in a bigger picture important to you?
- “It gives my efforts and struggles a purpose, a reason for being.”
This iterative process led Terrance to understand that his motivation was closely tied to his need for purpose, for contributing to a cause greater than himself. He had been so focused on individual glory—being the “star”—that he had overlooked the collective aspects that initially drew him to the sport: teamwork, a sense of community, and contributing to a shared objective.
With this newfound self-awareness, Terrance had a pivotal moment of clarity. He realized that being benched was just a surface issue, and the root cause of his lack of motivation was a misalignment between his actions and his deeper values. This revelation was the cornerstone upon which he could start rebuilding his approach to basketball and, by extension, to his life. Armed with this understanding, he was ready to move forward to the next steps, such as identifying core values, which eventually led to a profound shift in his athletic journey.
Step 2: Identify Core Values
Knowing one’s core values is fundamental to finding purpose. Core values like teamwork, integrity, and resilience are often strong motivators that transcend the accolades of winning and being a star athlete. Once an athlete identifies these, they can start aligning their goals accordingly.
Case Study: Terrance Finds his “Why”
Terrance’s mental skills coach understood the importance of identifying core values and had a structured approach to helping him in this aspect. They used a combination of written exercises, discussion, and experiential learning to delve deeper into what truly mattered to Terrance as a person and athlete.
Example Exercise: Values Card Sort
One effective exercise they utilized was the “Values Card Sort.” In this exercise, Terrance was given a set of cards, each with a different value written on it—words like “Success,” “Family,” “Leadership,” “Integrity,” “Community,” and so on. He was asked to sort these cards into three piles:
- ‘Important to Me’
- ‘Somewhat Important to Me’
- ‘Not Important to Me’
After the initial sorting, he had to further narrow down the ‘Important to Me’ pile to just his top five core values. This forced Terrance to make tough decisions and really consider what was most crucial for him.
After identifying his top five, Terrance was asked to elaborate on why these values were important to him. This involved discussing specific instances from his past athletic experiences, personal life, and even his aspirations that resonated with these values. Through this conversation, Terrance discovered that “Leadership” and “Community” were consistently recurring themes.
The Values Card Sort exercise was a revelation for Terrance. It wasn’t just an abstract, conceptual exercise; it had immediate practical applications. He realized that the reason he loved basketball initially was the sense of community and the opportunity to be a leader on the court. These core values also translated to other areas of his life, making him realize that his athletic journey could serve a purpose larger than individual accolades or winning games.
Armed with this understanding, Terrance felt a renewed sense of commitment. He started aligning his basketball goals with these core values, such as aspiring to be a team captain to fulfill his leadership potential and looking into community service opportunities where he could represent his team and contribute back to society. This exercise not only helped Terrance redefine his goals but also provided a sturdy foundation for all future endeavors, both on and off the court.
Step 3: Consult Trusted Figures
Finding one’s “Why” is often not a solo endeavor. Consulting trusted figures like coaches, mentors, or family members can offer valuable perspectives. These figures can help you see angles you might have missed and enrich your understanding of your personal mission.
Case Study: Terrance Finds his “Why”
After Terrance engaged in self-reflection and identified his core values, he felt he had some pieces of the puzzle but realized that he needed additional perspectives to get a full picture. As much as introspection is essential, external input from trusted figures can provide critical insights. That’s where the third step, Consult Trusted Figures, came into play.
Example Exercise: Roundtable Discussion
Terrance took the initiative to set up what he and his mental skills coach called a “Roundtable Discussion.” They invited people who had been instrumental in his life and athletic career—his basketball coach, his parents, and even a former high school coach. The mental skills coach facilitated the discussion, setting a respectful and open tone.
During this roundtable, Terrance shared his experiences, revelations, and the core values he had identified. Then, he opened the floor for feedback. The aim wasn’t just to hear praises or affirmations but to get real, constructive insights.
His parents emphasized how much he had been a leader in his family, often mentoring his younger siblings and taking on responsibilities beyond his age. They noted how his sense of community wasn’t limited to the basketball court but was evident in his life overall.
His coaches spoke candidly as well. His college coach mentioned that despite his current position on the bench, he had a powerful impact on the team’s new recruits. They looked up to him, and his attitude could set the tone for them, for better or worse. His high school coach echoed this sentiment, recounting instances where Terrance had naturally assumed leadership roles, setting examples for his teammates during practices and games.
This feedback was eye-opening for Terrance. It affirmed the values of leadership and community that he had identified but also added a layer of complexity: the notion of mentorship. He realized that his ability to influence younger players was a way to execute his leadership and contribute to the community. His role was not just about scoring points or winning games; it was also about being a role model, a mentor, and a responsible member of a larger community.
The roundtable discussion reinforced and expanded Terrance’s understanding of his “Why.” It gave him a multi-dimensional view of his purpose, incorporating the wisdom and observations of people who knew him well. It was a step that not only helped solidify his core values but enriched them, making his journey to finding his “Why” not just a personal endeavor but a collective affirmation.
Step 4: Set Long-Term Goals
Short-term goals like winning the next game are essential but limited. Long-term goals aligned with your core values and higher purpose can be far more motivating and rewarding. Setting these goals serves as a roadmap for your athletic career.
Case Study: Terrance Finds his “Why”
After the enlightening conversations with trusted figures, Terrance felt invigorated but realized that enthusiasm alone wouldn’t sustain him. He needed direction, a roadmap for channeling his renewed energy towards meaningful pursuits. This led him to the fourth step in the process: Setting Long-Term Goals.
Example Exercise: S.M.A.R.T. Goals Framework
Terrance’s mental skills coach introduced him to the S.M.A.R.T. Goals framework, an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. They took time to brainstorm and list down long-term goals that align with his core values of leadership and community.
Here’s a breakdown of how Terrance’s long-term goals fit into the S.M.A.R.T. framework:
- Specific: Become a team captain by his senior year and later work with youth basketball programs in his community.
- Measurable: Track his leadership actions during practices, such as motivating teammates, and measure his engagement with local youth programs.
- Achievable: With his existing leadership skills and community focus, these goals are within reach provided he commits to them.
- Relevant: These goals resonate with his core values, making them more than just targets but extensions of who he wants to be.
- Time-bound: The timeline for becoming team captain is by his senior year and community engagement by the upcoming off-season.
By structuring his goals in this manner, Terrance found that his daily practices took on a new hue. Every drill, every scrimmage, and every team meeting became an opportunity to exhibit leadership and build towards his long-term objectives. Each day became a step on a longer journey, and this made the grind not only tolerable but invigorating. He found himself pushing harder, engaging more with his teammates, and even contributing in games in ways that didn’t always show up on the scorecard but were invaluable nonetheless.
Suddenly, the road ahead was clear. He was no longer meandering through his athletic life but walking with purpose. Even the setbacks became learning opportunities, not failures. They were obstacles on a path that he had chosen, one that meant something to him, making the struggles worthwhile. This shift in perspective didn’t magically catapult him into the starting lineup overnight, but it fundamentally changed how he approached the game and his role in it. Now, every action had a ‘Why,’ and that made all the difference.
Step 5: Build a Support System
Once the “Why” is clearer, it’s important to build a support system around it. Surround yourself with people who understand and support your purpose. This will help you stay committed and accountable.
Case Study: Terrance Finds his “Why”
After the introspection, consultations, and goal setting, Terrance had a clearer idea of his “Why,” but he also understood that sustaining this newfound purpose would require consistent support.
Example Exercise: “My Circle of Purpose”
Terrance and his mental skills coach employed an exercise called “My Circle of Purpose.” They created a physical circle on a board, placing Terrance’s long-term goals and core values in the center. Around this, they listed names of individuals or groups that could actively support these goals and values.
For Terrance, this circle included his family, coaches, and teammates. But instead of just having a passive list, he took actionable steps to engage these people in his journey.
Terrance knew he wanted community involvement to be a big part of his life. He started volunteering at a local youth basketball clinic and invited some of his teammates to join him. Initially, they were skeptical, not seeing the direct benefit to their athletic performance. But once they were there, witnessing the positive impact they could make on young aspiring athletes, they started to see the value.
The effect of this was multi-layered. First, it gave Terrance an immediate sense of accomplishment and connection to his community, reinforcing his core values. Second, it started to build a support system of like-minded individuals who shared or at least understood his “Why.” Third, it created a sense of unity and shared purpose within his team that extended beyond the basketball court.
In doing this, Terrance was not only fortifying his own resolve but also fostering an environment that was conducive to collective growth. His teammates started to look at him as a leader, not because he was the star player, but because he was someone who stood for something meaningful and was willing to act on it. They began to share in his vision, making it easier for him to stay committed and accountable to his purpose.
Conclusion
The path to discovering one’s “Why” is an enriching journey that goes beyond wins and losses. It’s about aligning your athletic career with a higher sense of purpose, which can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. The steps explored in this article—Self-Reflection, Identifying Core Values, Consulting Trusted Figures, Setting Long-Term Goals, and Building a Support System—are more than just tools for athletes; they are life skills that can have a profound impact on personal and team growth.
Through this realistic example personified through the fictional character of Terrance, we see that discovering your “Why” can transform your approach to sports and life. It provides a motivational compass that can guide you through the challenges and victories that come your way. In the words of Professor William Damon, “a true purpose is an ultimate concern. “
Terrance’s journey illuminates the transformative power of understanding your “Why.” From a demotivated player sitting on the bench, he evolved into a leader, mentor, and an athlete deeply engaged with his community and team. His story demonstrates that the quest for your “Why” is not just beneficial but essential, for it gives direction, sustenance, and depth to your pursuits, turning what you “have to do” into what you “want to do” and ultimately, what you “were meant to do.”