What it Means to Parent a Young Athlete for the Long-Term
Yesterday I ruffled some feathers when I wrote that some good youth wrestlers will never be great youth wrestlers. It’s a hard pill to swallow. But what it takes to be a great youth athlete is not the same as what it takes to be a great athlete in high school and beyond
Great youth athletes are driven by a tremendous amount of parental influence. On the other hand, great high school and college athletes are driven by their self-motivation. Therefore, if a parent has any desire for their child to play sports at a high level or beyond, self-motivation must be their long-term goal.
When a child is first starting to develop their independence around 3rd or 4th grade, pushing a child still works. At these younger ages you can push your child to achieve more than any other child in their age group. This early success can be very gratifying for a parent. Unfortunately, early success that’s a result of heavy-handed parental influence backfires.
As a child matures into the adolescent years, the playing field changes. It’s in this stage of development that true elite talent starts to emerge. This is because some adolescent children start to develop their true passions in life. Passion that fuels self-motivation, that in turn fuels determination.
Self-Motivation Wins in the Long-Term
Unquestionably, athletes who have self-motivation will always have an advantage over those who’s parents push them. When you compare an adolescent that had early success because of heavy-handed parental influence against a self-motivated athlete that is a “late bloomer” there is a stark difference. More often than not, the early achiever will plateau as a great youth athlete, and that will be their peak. The late bloomer will accelerate into a great high school athlete and potentially beyond.
The best thing a parent can do when they can’t help themselves when it comes to pushing their child, is to push their child to find self-motivation. This means helping your child learn about their innate strengths and use those strengths. This also means helping your child with self-awareness and giving them the tools they need to tap into what uniquely makes them tick. Once a child develops the skills to motivate themselves, the sky’s the limit.
On the other hand, when you push your child too much with external motivation in the short-term, you sacrifice their long-term self-motivation. Best case scenario with this is that you push them into a great college but sacrifice their ability to take advantage of that opportunity. Your child will look successful on paper before they turn 18, but this will sacrifice their actual success in their 20s and 30s.