Understanding Why Confidence is a Mental Skill Not a Personality Trait
It’s common for people to misinterpret what it means to have confidence. Believing confidence is a personality trait is a mistake. To understand why, first you must understand the difference between a personality trait and a personality state.
Personality traits are those more permanent aspects of our personality that endure over time. On the other hand, a personality state is a reaction to a situation that causes a temporary behavior.
For example, say a person gets cut off in traffic when they are already running late for an important meeting. In that instance the person displays road rage. However, this doesn’t mean he or she is an angry person if this only happens occasionally. This is just an angry state. However, if this same person gets road rage every time they experience the slightest bit of bad traffic or inconvenience, then that emotional reaction may be more of an ongoing trait.
Confidence is a State of Mind Not a Trait of Personality
This same thing applies with confidence. You may have confidence to boil an egg but not have the confidence to make gourmet deviled eggs. You have the ability to show confidence. However, you don’t always use that ability. Instead, your ability to be confident is a reaction to your experience with success in a given situation.
The fact that you need experience being successful to display confidence is what makes it a skill. Skill building requires experience, and experiencing success requires a progression. Moreover, skills are domain specific. For example, a skilled chef may have confidence in baking desserts but would require a learning curve to have confidence making sushi. Similarly, you can have the confidence to boil an egg but require experience to confidently make gourmet deviled eggs.
Keep this in mind the next time you or someone important to you is struggling with confidence:
- Confidence is not a permanent problem.
- It’s not something you will solve overnight.
- A progressive process can teach anyone the mental skills they need to be more confident.