The Worst Time for Wrestling Parents to Try to Coach Their Kids
I have been hesitant to write about this topic because there isn’t much to say other than to state the painfully obvious fact that too many wrestling parents fail to acknowledge. However, after what I saw this weekend from several parents I have to get this off my chest. I’m no saint when it comes to this, but that doesn’t change the facts. The absolute and undisputable worst time for a wrestling parent to try to provide coaching to their child is right after the child loses a match.
Wrestling is an emotional sport and parents must show constraint. Furthermore, the most important time to keep emotions in check is immediately following the end of a match. Especially if it’s an emotional loss.
In addition, 9 times out of 10 parent coaching doesn’t work anyway. The vast majority of parents are better off letting someone else coach their kids. There is far too much emotional baggage from the parent child relationship. Layer on top of that the emotions of the immediate aftermath of a loss, and you are at ground zero.
There is absolutely nothing a child can learn from a parent immediately following a loss. Yet, it seems as if many parents can’t help themselves. There is this magnet like draw for some parents to want to coach up their kid on all the mistakes they made that led to the loss. Most of this feedback is coming from a place of love. Be that as it may, the reality is that wrestlers don’t feel the love, they feel judgement.
Parents who repeatedly try to provide coaching right after a child loses a match will make their child resent them. The best thing to do instead is just give the wrestler a hug and say nothing. If anything must be said, say I love you and that’s it. Parents would be smart to save any feedback they have for a later time.