Teach Kids to Value Quality With High Standards NOT Perfectionism
Quality is the 10th and final core value that leads children to develop self-motivation. The fundamental understanding kids must have is that anything worth doing is worth doing right. This means going beyond the bare minimum. This bare minimum is a measure of both one’s own personal standards and the standards of others.
Therefore, teaching kids to value quality starts with teaching them to hold themselves to high personal standards. The only way to do this is for parents to not only set high standards for their kids, but to also hold themselves to high standards.
Unfortunately, herein lies the problem. On one hand, parents have no problem holding their kids to high standards. On the other hand, parents are often hypocritical with the standards they hold themselves to. Not long ago, I was one of these parents.
Expecting Perfect is the Enemy of Quality and Self-Motivation
I’ve learned first hand that holding my children to an unreasonable expectation of quality is counterproductive. I was basically expecting perfection. There was no possible way for them to meet these expectations. What’s more, I wasn’t holding myself to these same high standards.
I learned many years ago when starting off as an entrepreneur that perfect is the enemy of progress. Striving for perfect drives analysis paralysis and even kills motivation completely. However, I did not translate this understanding to how I was treating my kids until just a few years ago.
Now, with this in mind, I believe the best approach is to regularly initiate conversations about quality with your kids.
- Ask them what the standard should be in a given situation.
- Understand the thinking behind why they want to set the standard at that level.
- If their standards lean toward perfectionism, help them adjust to high but realistic expectations.
- If their standards are too low, let them know you expect more and help them understand why they are capable of more.
In summary, the best way to teach a child to value quality is through a series of ongoing conversations. Conversations that over time facilitate an appreciation of standards and teach how to set high but realistic expectations.