Are You Raising Confident or Cocky Kids
There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness as they are two sides of the same coin. On the one hand, confidence is critical for long-term success. On the other hand, cockiness leads to long-term failure.
When you raise a confident child, that child learns to believe in themselves any time effort is invested to develop a tangible skill in a specific area. When you raise a cocky child, that child learns to believe in themselves even when they have done nothing to develop their skills. Confidence is good, cockiness is dangerous.
Today I came across a good article that touched specifically on this fine line. The article is titled How to Raise a Confident Kid (But not an Arrogant Jerk).
One of the best suggestions from the article to help you raise confident and not cocky kids is the following:
Say a child has really aced a math quiz. Their parents should compliment them for their success. They should tell them that they did great, yes, but then, ask them the steps it took to get them there. How did they study? Did they do something different this time than the last time? Did they pay extra attention in class, or ask questions? Did their teacher provide a lot of help and do a great job at teaching them? Talking to the child about the process of their success, complimenting them on taking those steps, pointing out what steps are replicable in case there’s a quiz down the road, and pointing out people who helped them get there, will help them feel confident in their work, and ultimately, recognize that it is not all about them.
The bottom line is that parents must teach their kids that confidence is something you earn and cockiness is something you make up.