Kids Don’t Like Coaches Who Yell – So What?
I did an unscientific survey this weekend among a handful of young athletes 12 and under. I asked them two fairly straight forward questions.
- Have you ever had a coach you didn’t like?
- If yes, I asked…What caused you not to like that coach?
Surprisingly, almost every kid I talked with said they had a coach they didn’t like at one time or another. In addition, they all had the same reason for not liking that coach. The coach yelled too much.
Kids don’t like coaches who yell. However, a large percentage of coaches are not getting this message and use yelling as their go to option for motivation.
Let that sink in for a second, then think about this. If kids don’t like coaches who yell, how do you think they feel about parents who yell? Kids are only exposed to their angry coach for a 2 hour practice over a few months a year and they still develop this feeling of dislike. I could only imagine the feelings simmering down inside a kid who gets constantly yelled at every day by their parents for one thing or another.
Research shows that kids who have parents who yell often have lower self-esteem and higher rates of depression. Furthermore, yelling is not an effective way to trigger positive long term behavior change and can instead make behavior worse.
If you are a parent or coach who yells, then knowing these facts should be enough to drive you to try your best to stop. The bottom line is that if yelling doesn’t improve behavior, leads to low self-esteem/depression and it makes kids dislike you, why do it?