Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

The biggest mistake a sports parent can make is create an environment where sports is all about their child. While it may not be intuitive, children do better in sports when you focus on their environment instead of focusing directly on them. At this point you must be thinking what the hell is this guy talking about. So, let me explain…

It doesn’t matter if your child is playing a team sport or an individual sport, sports parents are at their best when they parent in a team environment. This environment facilitates the process of helping others and getting help from others.

Helping Other Parents and Other Children

As previously stated, children do better when parents focus on their environment. Research shows that a positive, supportive environment fosters growth, resilience, and a sense of belonging. Studies have found that children who feel supported by their community are more likely to develop higher self-esteem and better social skills. Furthermore, research indicates that athletes who perceive higher levels of social support experience lower levels of stress and improved performance outcomes​​​.

When you actively find ways to help other parents and children, you create a supportive network that benefits everyone. For example, organizing carpooling to practices, leading trips to camps and tournaments, or collaborating on private training can relieve the logistical and financial burdens many sports parents face. In addition, volunteering to assist at events or bringing snacks for the team not only builds camaraderie but also sets an example of community spirit for your child.

By helping others, you indirectly enhance your own child’s experience. They witness firsthand the importance of community involvement and are more likely to adopt these positive behaviors themselves. Additionally, a well-supported team environment allows each child to focus more on their performance and enjoyment of the sport rather than external stressors parents put on them. This holistic support system is crucial for young athletes, as it not only nurtures their physical talents but also strengthens their mental and emotional resilience, leading to better sports performance overall.

Accepting Help from Others

Equally important is the ability to accept help from others. This can range from asking for advice on dealing with a difficult coach to accepting an offer to watch your child when you have a scheduling conflict. By welcoming assistance, you not only lighten your load but also strengthen the bonds within your parenting community. Accepting help creates a supportive network that can be crucial during stressful times, offering both practical assistance and emotional support.

For example, a fellow parent with experience in sports injury management might offer valuable advice on how to best support your child’s recovery process. Or perhaps another parent, who knows the team dynamics well, provides insights on navigating team politics and managing coach interactions effectively. By being open to these gestures of support, you build a sense of camaraderie and mutual trust. This community of support not only makes the challenges of sports parenting more manageable but also creates a positive environment where children can thrive, knowing their parents are part of a caring and connected community.

Ultimately, embracing help from others enriches the experience for both you and your child, fostering a network of shared strength and resilience. By working together, we not only raise better athletes but also more compassionate and well-rounded individuals. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child, and in sports, this village is your most valuable asset.

Building Your Parenting Team

Parenting in isolation can lead to unnecessary frustration and burnout. Being a sports parent is, in essence, a team sport. Just as in any team sport, having the right teammates is crucial for success. You will know you have the right teammates when you have three key components:

1. Shared Goals: Surround yourself with other parents who have similar goals for their children. This alignment ensures that everyone is working towards the same end, whether it’s developing sportsmanship, winning national titles, achieving athletic scholarships, or simply enjoying the game.
2. Mutual Commitment: A strong parenting team is built on a foundation of commitment to one another. This means being dependable, offering support, and standing by each other through the ups and downs of the sports journey.
3. Consistent Processes: Establishing and adhering to a consistent process is vital. Whether it’s following a particular training regimen, communicating with one voice to coaches, or fostering a positive attitude towards competition, consistency helps create a stable environment for your child.

Simply put, when parents unite, they create a nurturing environment where children can thrive, both on and off the field, court, track or mat.