The Connection Between an Athlete’s Self-Esteem and Ego
When an athlete’s ego dominates their mindset, they have no control over their self-esteem. The ego locks into comparing oneself to others. Self-esteem then feeds off how one feels about these comparisons. So, the more success an athlete has the harder it becomes to satisfy their self-esteem and the more failure an athlete has the harder it becomes to build their self-esteem.
Above all, self-esteem is a product of standards and expectations. If you have low standards and low expectations, it’s easier to build your self-esteem than when you have high standards and high expectations.
This is why athletes who face performance struggles tend to have low self-esteem and would rather give up than to find a way to breakthrough. Athletes have extremely high standards and expectations. Therefore, the best way to help a struggling athlete persevere and breakthrough is to help them let go of the comparisons and focus on what it means to be a competitor.
The most important trait of a competitor is that they don’t view tough competition as their enemy. On the contrary, competitors view tough competition as the next best thing to a best friend. Easy wins over unworthy competitors provide: 1) little to no experience, 2) no opportunity to practice advanced skills, and 3) expose none of the mistakes one must fix to get better.
These three categories motivate competitors immensely. In addition, these three categories are also what athletes need to fuel their self-esteem and suppress their ego. Therefore, an effective way to make the shift is to follow the following process:
- For every ego goal an athlete has, help them create 1 or 2 goals that are within their control to go with it.
- Each goal that’s within their control will then focus on the three categories: 1) experience, 2) skill development, and 3) fixing mistakes.
- Finally, make sure each controllable goal is S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, and Time bound) so they can be measured, tracked, and celebrated when achieved.