Parents: Don’t Teach Your Child to be Practical
Being practical is not a bad thing in itself. There is a lot of good that can come out of making practical decisions. However, practicality can also stifle a child’s development. Renowned professor and author William Damon, PhD, in his book The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life makes this clear. He writes:
Youth is a time of idealism–or at least it should be. There is ample time later to rein in one’s dreams to conform to the inevitable constraints of the world; but a human life that does not begin with idealistic aspirations is likely to be a barren one.
I think parents would be remiss to ignore Damon’s warning here. As a parent myself, I understand the fear that a child’s idealism will leave them broke as an adult. But this fear must not push you to steal their idealism. Overemphasizing the advantages of careers that make you rich, provide status, or seemingly guarantee stability is the natural thing for a proactive parent to do. As well as overemphasizing the disadvantages of careers that provide the opposite. But this is exactly what you shouldn’t do.
Instead, it’s best to let kids explore their ideas and dreams without stealing their joy with practicality. This is how children discover their passions and the motivations that innately make them tick. If parents push the practical too often and too soon, kids never learn what innately brings them joy. Instead, they learn how to please others and do what society expects of them. This surely will distract them from finding their path to purpose.
As Damon further states:
…with best intentions, adults in recent years have been busy talking young people out of their natural idealism and into a posture of heightened material concern. Often this is done out of a sense of fearful expedience, for the sake of helping the young person get ahead in today’s competitive marketplace. Such a stance is shaky for young people not only because it is unnatural for their period of life but also because it has no sustaining conviction of its own. It is a timid and pessimistic stance that inspires neither wholehearted effort nor lasting allegiance.
Indeed, it’s that last line from Damon every parent must remember. What will truly provide your child with money, status, and stability is not being fearful, practical, or conforming. It’s giving their wholehearted effort and a lasting allegiance to a purpose they are passionate about. Yes, it’s true sometimes the practical path turns out to be the best path. But as Damon’s research suggests, it’s better to help a child pursue a purpose they are passionate about than to push them to do something practical they don’t love.