Is Failure Temporary?
How would you answer the question is failure temporary? Take a moment and think about it as if you were being interviewed for a job. What do you really think is the truth about failure?
You can’t change the past, right? That would mean once you fail it’s set in stone. That failure is a permanent mark on your record. On the other hand, we’ve also heard that there is no failure, only learning. This perspective is one where you see failure only as part of the process not a final event. So, which one is it?
The coach in me is obviously going to tell you that failure is temporary. But the truth is there is no right or wrong answer. In fact, the answer doesn’t matter at all. Instead, what matters is the mindset you have while you are thinking through the answer.
We all say the right things when we know others are listening and judging. We all get the same self-help positive psychology advice time and time again in books, movies, podcast, and social media memes. Unquestionably, saying the right thing is much harder than doing the right thing. Your logic dictates what you say, but it’s your mindset that dictates what you do.
This means even if you have the right logic on how to treat failure, if your mindset is not oriented the same way when you actually fail you don’t do the right things to match that logic.
How Your Mindset Impacts Your Response to Failure
When it comes to failure in particular, the research Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D. provides in her preeminent book on mindset suggest two mindsets dominate. A growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
The growth mindset is one in which you believe that self-improvement is a product of hard work and the innate talents you are born with are just the starting point. On the other hand, the fixed mindset is a belief that human characteristics are carved in stone at birth. Furthermore, with a fixed mindset you believe you’re either good at something or you’re not. If you are good at something it will be easy, if you’re not it will be hard.
These two contrasting mindsets create a stark difference to how one responds to failure. Those with a growth mindset see failure as temporary. They believe that with hard work, the next time will be different. In contrast, those with a fixed mindset see failure as something caused by a personality trait or defect. They believe that the failure is a result of who they are, not what they did.
I don’t have to argue why the growth mindset is better for responding to failure, as it’s pretty clear. Unfortunately though, if you have a fixed mindset, you need a growth mindset to change it.
This circular problem of figuring out how to grow into a growth mindset even though you have a fixed mindset is not an easy nut to crack. You must know in your heart you have the wrong mindset and accept the internal struggle to change your fixed mindset into a growth mindset.
This requires a tremendous amount of self-awareness, which in turn requires emotional intelligence. As a result, before you try to change a fixed mindset into a growth mindset, work on improving emotional intelligence first.