Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

Pressure burst pipes, but pressure also makes diamonds. So, what is a parent to do when raising an athlete?

• Do you use pressure to push your child to be an elite athlete (a diamond)?
• If so, how can you be sure that your pressure won’t cause your child to burn out (burst their pipes) before they reach their potential?
• If not, will your child miss out on reaching their potential because you didn’t push them enough?

Unquestionably, pressure has the potential to lead to both negative and positive outcomes. However, renowned psychology professor Dr. Edward Deci has extensive research that suggest that the more you pressure someone, the less self-motivation they will have. Moreover, requiring a constant fix of external motivation because one lacks self-motivation will lead to burnout.

Therefore, it’s safe to conclude that external pressure will cause the negative outcome of the proverbial burst pipes. So, the only way that pressure can make a diamond is when it comes from an internal source. While it’s true that not all internal pressure is good either, at least internal pressure has the potential for good.

Given that, the best way for a parent to navigate this pressure paradox is to:

1. Stop using pressure to push a young athlete to the point where they lose the self-motivation to push themselves.
2. Only use pressure to encourage them to develop self-awareness. That is, push them to learn the skills they need to motivate themselves.