Balancing A Competitive Athlete’s Self-Esteem and Mental Health
The most important thing a parent raising a competitive athlete can do for their long-term mental health is to make sure there is balance.
- Balance between creativity and competitiveness.
- Balance between values and goals / process and outcome.
- As well as balance between pushing a child out of their comfort zone and letting them develop self-motivation to push themselves.
How do you know if an athlete is in balance? Well, there is a simple question you can start with: “What Defines You?”
Using this question as a starting point to kick-off a conversation about self-esteem with a young athlete is an excellent way to understand if that athlete is in or out of balance. To understand the point of this, first you must understand the definition of self-esteem.
Self-Esteem: How one perceives their self and their abilities.
As explained on Psychology Today :
“Esteem” is derived from the Latin aestimare, meaning “to appraise, value, rate, weigh, estimate,” and self-esteem is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act, and reflects and determines our relation to ourselves, to others, and to the world.
For example, if a young athlete gave you just the responses below to what defines them, would you think they were in balance?
I define myself by being…
- a winner
- the fastest kid on my team
- a state champion
- the strongest kid my age
How about if they provided the above responses while also adding the following?
I define myself by being…
- funny
- a hard worker
- athletic
- kind
- a competitor
- happy
- a leader
- a person who never gives up
- disciplined
- creative
The first set of responses alone are a clear indication a child is out of balance. These responses indicate that their self-esteem comes from external characteristics out of their control. The second set of responses are an indication that self-esteem comes come from internal characteristics within their control. The combination of the two sets of responses shows clear balance.
In short, having a balance in self-esteem is the key to sustaining athlete’s mental health over the long term. More specifically, balance prevents burnout. If a young athlete is out of balance their words will reveal it, and the first thing a parent must do is listen.