The Mindset Conflict That’s Impacting Your State of Happiness Right Now
Happiness is relative. For some happiness depends on the comparison between what they want and what they have. For others happiness depends on what they had yesterday and what they have now. Then for others it’s a comparison between what others have and what they have.
Ultimately, this means that two people could be in the exact same place and getting the exact same thing, and one could be happy and the other could be sad.
However, this relative state of happiness does not apply universally to everyone. Only those who derive their happiness from having things are in this constant state of relative happiness. On the other hand, there are others who derive their happiness from doing, not having.
This concept of doing vs. having is the mindset conflict that is impacting your state of happiness right now. You are more in control of what you do than what you have. Therefore, if you get your happiness from what you do, your happiness is not in a constant state of dependence of relative outcomes you don’t control.
Having vs. Doing
Unfortunately, most people’s instincts tell them that having is better than doing. 99.9% of people instinctively would rather hit the lottery to become a millionaire today than grind for 10 years to earn it.
However, multiple studies show that about 70% of all lottery winners end up going broke. On the flip side, you can’t find one study that shows a pattern of people who know how to get rich through hard work who go broke.
Who cares, right? Having a reward is better than doing the work to get the reward. Not so much.
If you have ever played competitive sports, then you know that competing in a winning game or match is more satisfying than looking at the trophy or medal the next day. If it was any different trophy engraving companies would be on every corner.
Simply stated, don’t let your instincts trick you into believing that having is more valuable than doing. While there is always a tiny moment of happiness in having a reward, as the saying goes, father time is undefeated. Anything you have that makes you happy today, time will diminish it. Moreover, how you spend your time doing stuff represents who you are and who you will become.
Therefore, the sooner you stop focusing on having and instead focus on doing, the happier you will be on average over your lifespan.