When Your Identity is Tied to Your Goals “Ego is the Enemy”
When your identity is tied to your goals it leads to one thing and one thing only…EGO. Moreover, as NY Times Bestselling author Ryan Holiday states in his must read book Ego is the Enemy, ego is the enemy.
But why is ego the enemy? Holiday explains by writing:
The problem is that when we get our identity tied up in our work, we worry that any kind of failure will then say something bad about us as a person. It’s a fear of taking responsibility, of admitting that we might have messed up…
Furthermore, to paraphrase Holiday, ego is the fear of showing signs of weakness. It’s not that it’s bad to want to be the strongest, to want to be the best, to want to be rich, or to want any lofty goal. Ambition and aspiring for greatness do not automatically equate to having an unhealthy ego. Instead, it’s the process that fuels that ambition.
Is that process fueled by shortcuts, extremes, abuse, bridge burning, or win at all cost behaviors? Or is that process fueled by patient continuous improvement earned through self-awareness? The former is ego, the latter is discipline. As holiday writes:
Ego doesn’t allow for proper incubation… To become what we ultimately hope to become often takes long periods of obscurity, of sitting and wrestling with some topic or paradox. Humility is what keeps us there, concerned that we don’t know enough and that we must continue to study. Ego rushes to the end, rationalizes that patience is for losers (wrongly seeing it as a weakness) …
History Proves That Ego is the Enemy
Holiday backs up his assertions on ego being the enemy using countless historical events. Three of the best that Holiday includes are those from Civil War General William T. Sherman, hall of fame football coach Bill Walsh, and infamous futuristic car entrepreneur John DeLorean, among others. Each historical account is full of facts that show why not only is ego the enemy, but also why eliminating ego is the path to sustained success.
In short, I highly recommend you grab a copy of this timeless book and decide for yourself if ego is truly the enemy.