Wanting Greatness vs. Choosing Greatness
There is a subtle difference between wanting to be great a choosing to be great. Scottish chess grandmaster Jonathan Rowson breaks down this subtle difference as quoted in NY Times Bestselling author Paul Tough’s book How Children Succeed:
“When it comes to ambition it is crucial to distinguish between ‘wanting’ and ‘choosing’ it.” Decide that you want to become world champion, Rowson explained, and you will inevitably fail to put in the necessary hard work. You will not only not become world champion but also have the unpleasant experience of falling short of a desired goal, with all the attendant disappointment and regret. If, however, you choose to become world champion (as Kasparov did at a young age), then you will “reveal your choice through your behavior and your determination. Every action says, ‘This is who I am.’”
What Rowson is explaining is the basic philosophy of what separates those who are good and those who are great. It comes down to dreaming vs. doing, talking the talk vs. walking the walk. When you only want to be great, there is a lot of talking and dreaming, but there isn’t much, if any, follow through.
On the other hand, when you choose to be great you understand that talk is cheap. It’s simply a fact of having laser like focus on consistently finding ways to get better, no matter how difficult. It’s not talent, it’s not luck, and it’s not wanting. All these things can help. However, none of that matters if your behaviors are not consistently aligned with what it takes to get better.
Aligning Your Wants, Your Behaviors, and Your Choices
If you want something you don’t have, you can’t behave the same way you did when you didn’t have it. In short, anytime you want something you must change your behavior to change your reality. As a result, you must focus less on what you want and more on the process of changing your behavior.
Recognizing that your behavior is the problem is sometimes difficult. Often it takes someone looking from the outside in to provide candid feedback. Even then it still may take an “aha” moment or life altering event to acknowledge that your behavior is keeping you from getting what you want. However, once you do acknowledge that the only way to change your reality is to change your behavior, you can start with these three-steps to begin the process of changing it.
Three Steps to Starting on the Path to Behavior Change
- Start with the minimum viable change (MVC). A MVC is something that only slightly pushes you out of your comfort zone. Something like waking up 10 or 15 minutes earlier than normal. Whatever it is, make sure it’s measurable, easy to start right away, and the difficulty can be incrementally increased.
- Get someone to agree to be your accountability partner. Let them in on the details of the behaviors you need to change. Explain your MVC and how that MVC is measured. Then empower them with the access into your life to hold you accountable for keeping the promises you make.
- Develop and then execute a plan for the progression of your MVC. For example, if you start by waking up 10 minutes early, will you increase this to 20 minutes after 30 days or 60 days? How will you then keep adding additional 10-minute increments over time? What is the ultimate goal, working your way up to waking up at 5am for example. In addition, what other MVCs can you layer on top once you get the wheel of your first MVC spinning effortlessly? Don’t make these decisions on the fly, plan them out with your accountability partner, and then let your partner hold you accountable to this plan.