Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

Resilience is a proactive muscle to build before you face adversity, not during. Yes, it’s true that adversity can help you test your resilience which in turn helps you with self-awareness, an important component of resilience. However, it’s not wise to wait until times of adversity to work on building resilience. It’s possible it will be too late.

With that said, The American Psychological Association has a list with 5 tips for building resilience parents can start with. Paraphrasing from the APA guidelines, the 5 recommendations are:

1. Help your child build connections “with empathetic and understanding people” who can help remind them they are not “alone in the midst of difficulties “. Do this through helping them develop both one-on-one relationships and group / team relationships.
2. Help your child by fostering an environment for wellness. This means “promoting positive lifestyle factors like proper nutrition, ample sleep, hydration, and regular exercise… “
3. Help your child find and discover purpose in life. This includes encouraging them to participate in more formal activities like volunteering and less formal activities like supporting friends and family in times of need. In addition, help your child develop realistic goals and take regular small steps towards achieving those goals.
4. Encourage your child to embrace healthy thoughts. This may mean helping them “identify areas of irrational thinking, such as a tendency to catastrophize difficulties or assume the world is out to get you, and adopt a more balanced and realistic thinking pattern.” This also includes things like helping your child embrace change, view the world with optimism, and learn from past setbacks and difficulties.
5. Teach your child that it’s okay and healthy to ask for help. Even professional help from a licensed mental health professional such as a psychologist.