Using a Negative Feedback Filter as a Mental Skill for Growth
Receiving negative feedback is never an enjoyable process. It’s typically best to let it go in one ear and out the other. Everyone knows that sideline critics are a dime a dozen. So, it’s important for those in the spotlight to learn how to ignore almost all negative feedback.
However, learning when to act on negative feedback is necessary for growth. Elite performers don’t become elite by ignoring everything. There is a time and a place to humble yourself to negative feedback. Therefore, learning how to process feedback through a filter is an important mental skill.
I recommend that before any recipient of negative feedback pushes the ignore button, pause for a moment and filter that feedback by considering the source, intent, and relevance.
The Source of the Feedback
If the person giving the feedback is angry, adversarial, or overly emotional then it’s best to ignore their feedback. They are probably lashing out at you to make you feel bad and not trying to help you.
The Intent of the Feedback
Does the feedback give you a way forward by suggesting processes for improvement and ways to appreciate the process more, then this suggests a growth mindset. This is a sign of good feedback you should likely listen to.
On the other hand, if the feedback is attempting to shame you, make you feel unworthy, or tell you that you can’t improve then this suggests a fixed mindset. This is feedback you should ignore.
The Relevance of the Feedback
The final feedback filter is evaluating if you keep getting the same type of feedback from different people and it’s relevant to something you are truly struggling with. It’s unlikely that you would keep getting the same type of feedback from different people unless it was valid. On the other hand, if all other feedback you get is contrary to this one person’s negative feedback, then it’s probably okay to ignore it.