Trying to Get Better Every Day is Why You Aren’t Getting Better
If I got a nickel every time someone shares a meme about getting better every day, I may not get rich, but I would have more nickels than I need. The problem with this advice is that it’s so wrong it feels right. Consequently, because it feels right it makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong on the days you aren’t getting better, even when you’re doing all the right things.
Today, after a “bad day” of lifting weights with my son, it was important for me to remind myself of this. Lifting weights is the perfect example to illustrate why getting better every day is bad advice. You can’t just lift heavier weights every day and expect to just keep getting stronger.
During my training session today, I couldn’t lift the same amount I lifted two days ago. Why? Because that’s how nature works. Two days ago, I reached a new max. When you do something more difficult than you’ve ever done, it takes your body time to adjust. To put it another way, you break your muscles down to build them back up.
In my case, at the moment I failed to lift the weight I was trying to lift I started to beat myself up mentally. The negative self-talk was immediate, and I had to catch myself in the act to stop it. Now, I could just ignore reality and keep trying to lift heavier weights. However, this would likely lead to injury.
On the other hand, the scientifically proven approach to getting stronger is to first allow your body to recover after pushing to a new limit. Then alternate between lighter days and heavier days. After some time in this process, you naturally gravitate to a new max. This is a fundamental truth of progress that transcends weightlifting that neither you nor I can change just because of the willpower to work harder.
Not better every day. It’s better over time.
The nature of growth is not linear. It’s humanly impossible to get better every day. If you expect this unrealistic growth curve you will only disappoint yourself and be worse off because of the negative self-talk it causes. Instead, measure your improvement over months and quarters instead of days and weeks.
While there may be no meme to encourage slow progress over daily progress, there is a great fable. The next time someone tells you the goal is to get better every day, remind them of Aesop’s fable “The Tortoise and the Hare”. Fables like this remain popular for over 2000 years for a reason.