Negative Self-Talk and Negative Outcomes a Chicken and Egg Problem with a Solution
It’s quite common for athletes to talk to themselves. Mental skill coaches call this “self-talk”. All athletes use self-talk, but some use it in a way that helps them, and others use it in a way that hurts them. When an athlete uses self-talk to hurt themselves, they talk to themselves with language that drives pessimism and fear. This is why it’s called negative self-talk. Moreover, that negative self-talk tends to go hand and hand with negative outcomes.
Unfortunately, this link between negative self-talk and negative outcomes is not obvious. When an athlete appears to have all the talent in the world, works hard and gets positive outcomes in practice, but appears to “choke” when it counts fans only see one plausible explanation. They equate those negative outcomes to the athlete lacking in mental toughness.
Subsequently it follows that an athlete who keeps hearing that he or she lacks mental toughness develops a habit of negative self-talk in the process of getting a negative outcome. This then becomes a classic chicken and egg problem to solve.
Do the negative outcomes lead to negative self-talk or does the negative self-talk lead to negative outcomes?
You’re not going to like this answer, but that doesn’t change the fact that the answer is both. Negative outcomes can cause negative self-talk and negative self-talk can cause negative outcomes. Unquestionably, the circular logic of a chicken and egg problem like this is frustrating. However, there is a silver lining. This chicken an egg problem has a solution.
Moving from Negative to Positive Self-Talk
As one of my mentors likes to say, old habits die hard but new habits form fast. This basically means that old habits can only be broken by quickly replacing them with new habits. A good place to start is with those things you control i.e., the words you say to yourself.
Athletes must make sure they are not reinforcing negative self-talk by telling themselves things like:
“I’m just not a lucky person”
“I suck at this“
“Don’t go out there and choke this time“
“I can’t do anything right“
“This is just the way I am“
As soon as one of these thoughts start to form, the athlete must take control of their mind. Many mental skills coaches label this technique “thought stopping”. Thought stopping is a three-step process.
- Start listening to the thoughts flowing in and out of your mind. Specifically in stressful moments and high-pressure situations.
- As soon as you recognize that you are having a negative thought or even when someone says something negative to you, cut the negativity off by saying “STOP!”
- Clear your mind by taking a very quick deep breath and feel the void with a neutral line of thinking.
Some thoughts to feel the void with include statements like the following:
“I got this”
“I’m stronger than I think“
“I’ve been here before, this pressure is a privilege“
“I’m going to focus only on the process”
“This isn’t harder than practice. My practice has me prepared”
“This is my chance to get better“
“One step at a time”
“I’m ok”
“Stick with it and keep getting better“
That’s it. However, as a mental skills coach I am not going to tell you this is easy. Thought stopping takes a tremendous amount of practice, just like anything else you want to master. My suggestion is to create a habit-forming daily routine. You should do this every single day, multiple times a day. For example,
- Moments of self-doubt
- When you’re feeling self-conscious
- Most importantly, first thing in the morning when your alarm goes off and you tell yourself you still feel tired when you know you must wake up.
If you learn to use these everyday moments to practice your self-talk every day, overtime you will learn to control your thoughts and not let your thoughts control you. Thus, eliminating the chicken and egg problem with negative self-talk and negative outcomes.