The Two Parenting Styles Parents Must Choose Between
Parents must choose between two parenting styles. The first parenting style is a style that works great in the short term but has long-term drawbacks. I like to call this parenting style “Take it or Else Parenting”. Take it or Else Parenting is when you force your kids to take your advice or face consequences. It’s analogous to the cliché that children must “do what I say and not what I do” parents use by default.
Take it or Else Parenting is not sustainable. As the teen years progress, the more a parent controls the more a teen will rebel. Moreover, Take it or Else Parenting handicaps teens because those who don’t learn how to make good choices when they’re pre-teens make bad choices as teens. Correspondingly, those who don’t learn how to make good choices when they’re teens make bad choices as adults.
The second parenting style is “Take it or leave it Parenting”. Take it or Leave it Parenting is when you default to providing advice not directions. It’s up to your child to choose whether they want to listen to your advice or not. Unquestionably, this parenting style must have guard rails. However, the big picture is to guide not control.
The concept of this parenting style is that it’s better to give your children more choices when they are young and let them make as many bad choices as they want when the stakes aren’t high. Then use those bad choices as teachable moments that help them grow into good decision makers.
In addition, Take it or Leave it Parenting constantly challenges a child to speak up for him or herself to learn how to be their own advocate. This in turn helps them learn to take personal responsibility for processes, experiences, and results.
Obviously, the parenting style you choose is your choice and your choice alone. My only suggestion is that you choose wisely.