The #1 Reason Why Parents are Hesitant to Hire a Coach
For the most part I coach middle and high school athletes. Occasionally, I coach the parents of these athletes. The difference between these two types of clients goes far beyond their age and stage in life.
When I coach an athlete, the parent hires me to help their child. When I coach a parent, the parent must hire me for self-help. This is a difficult step for an adult to take. It’s much easier to acknowledge someone else needs help than it is to acknowledge you personally need help.
With that in mind, one of my favorite author’s and thought leaders Seth Godin provides a succinctly insightful essay to explain this complex paradox of coaching. He states:
It turns out that the people with the potential to benefit the most from a coach are often the most hesitant precisely because of what coaching involves.
Talking about our challenges. Setting goals. Acknowledging that we can get better. Eagerly seeking responsibility…
And yet we avert our eyes and hesitate. It might be because having a coach might be interpreted as a sign of weakness…
It’s that last statement from Godin that’s haunting for so many parents. To acknowledge a child needs help with a weakness is one thing, but it’s a completely different thing to acknowledge your own personal weaknesses. Particularly when acknowledging this is an acknowledgement that you may be the reason why your child is having problems.
My response to this is that self-awareness is a superpower not a kryptonite. A parent who is self-aware about how they can be better so they can help their child be better is among the greatest gifts a child can get. Moreover, as Seth Godin reminds us in his essay:
At the top tier of just about any sort of endeavor, you’ll find that the performers have coaches.
Parenting is a performance not much different than any other. However, how one performs as a parent often has permanent consequences. Having the self-awareness to get the help of a coach once a parent recognizes they need help is often the deciding factor on what those consequences will be.