Self-Care: Make the Game Easier or Make Yourself Better?
Several people have criticized me for my take on Tennis star Naomi Osaka’s recent statements about her mental health struggles. However, in a black and white world with little nuance, mental health is one of the areas that requires nuance. Without it, the idea that the sports world must make mental health a priority will be nothing more than a talking point.
With this in mind, let’s start with those who don’t like my views on how social media influencers are throwing around the term “self-care” as the solution for mental health. The way most people are talking about self-care right now is basically using it as a synonym for being selfish.
- Putting your priorities over your responsibilities while expecting no consequences.
- Making the process easier while still expecting the same outcomes.
This is not self-care. Self-care is more than sleeping more, working less, going to the spa, and taking vacations. Don’t get me wrong, those activities are useful for mental health, but those activities alone won’t make you mentally healthy.
True self-care is dealing with the consequences of your priorities, not prioritizing avoiding consequences. True self-care requires facing fears, not running from fear. Above all, true self-care is working to get better at the game, not working to make the game easier. In all cases, this requires learning new mental skills. Mental skills you can’t learn by sleeping, working less, going to the spa, and taking vacations.
Whether it’s getting help from a licensed therapist or a professional coach, committing to a process of getting better is a must for self-care. Anything less than putting in the work to get better is not self-care. It’s self-sabotage.