Helicopter Parenting is Only a Symptom for a Parent with a Bigger Problem
Helicopter parenting is not the problem. Helicopter parenting is just a symptom of the problem. More often than not, a parent who tries to control everything using the helicopter approach is taking a shortcut around spending quality time with their kid. Instead of engaging children and trying to understand what innately makes them tick, helicopter parents try to use command and control to get what they want.
Unfortunately, and fortunately, helicopter parenting doesn’t get parents what they want. That is, a child who becomes a successful adult that lives a happy and fulfilling life with purpose. Controlling your child’s every move won’t get you this. What’s more, parenting with the other extreme using a laissez faire, free-range attitude won’t do it either.
There is Only One Parenting Approach That Research Shows is Likely to Work
The only approach that research shows is likely to work far more often than not is to engage children with methods similar to the Strengths Based Parenting approach. As author Mary Reckmeyer sums up, this means “…treat children as individuals. Respect their natural inclinations, talents, and interests.“
To do this, parents must spend quality time talking, listening, and engaging with their kids. Many parents would rather blame video games, phones, and social media for the ills of today’s children than take the time to do this. What’s more, the only way to understand how to provide alternatives to today’s omnipresent technology is to tap into the innate desires these things satisfy.
Being strict and taking away technology is just a band-aid. Once a kid is off on their own, they will binge away until they find an alternative. Which may never happen unless they seek help.
Without doubt, helping a child tap into their innate gifts, talents, motivations, and interests requires an immense amount of patience. Something that both helicopter parents and free-range parents lack. That is why adults who lack patience is ultimately the biggest problem children face and the root cause for many of the ills in society.