Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

Mental skills training primarily focuses on teaching the skills to increase self-awareness, focus, confidence, and mental toughness. To teach the various mental skills to support each of these areas, clients must commit to an iterative process of assessment, measurement, goal setting, progression planning, and follow-through.

This iterative process of mental skills training is uncomfortable by design. Unquestionably, it’s the uncomfortable parts of the training that makes it effective. Therefore, the most important factor in whether mental skills training will be successful is the client’s motivation.

Motivation is the energy to act. Sometimes that energy comes from being pushed and sometimes that energy comes from being pulled. Pushing comes from external sources like parents, coaches, and employers. On the other hand, pulling comes from internal sources like innate passions, purpose, values, and personality.

With respect to overcoming the uncomfortable process of mental skills training, a pulling motivation is far better that a pushing motivation. Pushing motivations often are what convince clients to start, but it’s the pulling motivations that keep clients going. As a result, the first mental skill one must develop for self-awareness is how to tap into the motivations that pull. This is called self-motivation.

How to Activate Self-Motivation in Different Types of People

There is no one size fits all solution for self-motivation. Some people find their self-motivation when they have autonomy over what they do. Others find their self-motivation when they can easily see themselves continually making progress. Another type of person may need the context of a realistic step-by-step plan to find their self-motivation. And yet another type of person may need a well thought out purpose statement to find their self-motivation.

The more one understands what innately makes them tick the better they can develop their self-motivation. This requires a process.

My Approach for Helping Client’s Find their Self-Motivation

When I first start working with a client, I start by talking to their parents, coaches, peers, and teachers to learn about their behaviors using the Strengths Based Parenting approach.

1. Yearning: What activities or environments is the client repeatedly drawn to or eager to try?
2. Rapid learning: What new skills or activities does the client pick up quickly and easily?
3. Satisfaction: When is the client most enthusiastic and fulfilled?  Which activities is he or she excited about doing again and again?
4. Timelessness: When does the client become so engrossed that he or she seems to lose track of time?

The next step is to understand which one of the 5 big personality traits they best fit.

1. Openness: Known for their curiosity, imagination, and ingenuity.
2. Conscientiousness: Go getters with strong organization and execution skills. May have a tendency for perfectionism and being controlling.
3. Extroversion: Distinctly positive and have the potential for leadership due to their outgoing, energetic, and talkative traits.
4. Agreeableness: The quintessential team player due to their preference for cooperation. Typically behaves in a manner that’s considerate, generous, forgiving and trusting.
5. Neuroticism: Performs at the extremes with high highs and low lows due to being driven by emotions. Influenced by negativity and anxiety more than others.

Then I combine what I learn from these two approaches to categorize the primary form of self-motivation into 1 of 9 types:

1. Autonomy – Doesn’t like being told what to do and has a need to be self-reliant.
2. Competence – Wants to show mastery and craves moments to demonstrate their expertise in front of others.
3. Social Bonding – Needs to build relationships with others and pursue goals with friends.
4. Social Status – Must establish social significance and wants to be the “alpha” in their social circle.
5. Accomplishment – Loves planning and constantly wants to feel like they are making progress.
6. Knowledge – Wants to always keep learning new things and expanding their expertise.
7. Excitement – Needs to stimulate their emotions by taking on new and thrilling experiences.
8. Challenge – Must have purpose and seeks opportunities to push themselves and others beyond perceived limitations.
9. Creativity – Doesn’t like monotonous activities and needs to have a way to express their uniqueness.

Finally, using these 9 categories of self-motivation, I develop a custom plan and process for mental skills training that takes advantage of the client’s unique strengths and motivations to optimize their potential for inevitable success.

To find out more about my mental skills training programs, please contact me here.