Parents Must Be Careful Not to Overvalue Extrinsic Achievements
Parents must be careful not to do more harm than good by not balancing what they push their child to achieve. Of course every parent wants their kids to achieve various things related to grades, sports, and extracurricular activities. But disproportionately valuing extrinsic achievements over things that are more intrinsic can lead to a range of serious issues.
In fact, a study from Arizona State suggest that parents pushing children to value extrinsic achievements over intrinsic achievements leads to a range of serious issues such as depression, anxiety, disruptive behavior, low self-esteem, and learning problems. Some examples of extrinsic vs. intrinsic include:
- Intrinsic Examples: Personal growth, close relationships, community involvement, physical health
- Extrinsic Examples: Money, titles, fame, beauty, material things, test scores, grades, rankings
It’s not that encouraging extrinsic achievements are bad. However, it can be bad when there is no balance. As stated by one of the researchers Lucia Ciciolla in an article covering the study by PsychCentral:
…our data did not show that encouraging achievement in itself is bad. It becomes destructive when it comes across as critical, and when it overshadows, or does not co-exist with, a simultaneous value on more intrinsic goals that are oriented toward personal growth, interpersonal connections, and community well-being.
There are many other researchers who also warn against overvaluing extrinsic achievements. Researchers from the University of Rochester have a similar finding, and so does Dr. Edward Deci, one of the world’s leading researchers on goals and motivation.
The takeaway from each of these researchers is nearly the same, and I implore parents to heed the message. Wanting material things is not bad, but balance must be a priority above all. This is the lesson parents must not only teach their children, but also model to their children with their behavior.