Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

Your happiest moments in life will always be when you align your wants, your behavior, and your reality. This appears to be obvious. However, changing your behavior so that what you want becomes your reality is always easier said than done.

You want a promotion, but you still behave as if you are in your current role. So, your reality is that you get passed over year after year. You want to be a national champion, but you still behave the same way you did last season when you weren’t a national champion. So, your reality is that you still aren’t improving enough to win against the best in the country. You want to start a successful business, but you still behave as if you are an employee. So, your reality is that your business struggles to get off the ground.

As we see the pattern is simple. If you want something you don’t have, you can’t behave the same way you did when you didn’t have it. In short, anytime you want something you must change your behavior to change your reality. As a result, you must focus less on what you want and more on the process of changing your behavior.

Recognizing that your behavior is the problem is sometimes difficult. Often it takes someone looking from the outside in to provide candid feedback. Even then it still may take an “aha” moment or life altering event to acknowledge that your behavior is keeping you from getting what you want. However, once you do acknowledge that the only way to change your reality is to change your behavior, you can start with these 3 steps to begin the process of changing it.

3 Steps to Starting on the Path to Behavior Change

1. Start with the minimum viable change (MVC). A MVC is something that only slightly pushes you out of your comfort zone. Something like waking up 10 or 15 minutes earlier than normal. Whatever it is, make sure it’s measurable, easy to start right away, and the difficulty can be incrementally increased.
2. Get someone to agree to be your accountability partner. Let them in on the details of the behaviors you need to change. Explain your MVC and how that MVC is measured. Then empower them with the access into your life to hold you accountable for keeping the promises you make.
3. Develop and then execute a plan for the progression of your MVC. For example, if you start by waking up 10 minutes early, will you increase this to 20 minutes after 30 days or 60 days? How will you then keep adding additional 10-minute increments over time? What is the ultimate goal, working your way up to waking up at 5am for example. In addition, what other MVCs can you layer on top once you get the wheel of your first MVC spinning effortlessly? Don’t make these decisions on the fly, plan them out with your accountability partner, and then let your partner hold you accountable to this plan.