Parents of Teenagers Have Two Options to Deal with Their Mood Swings
I’m about 18 months into the teen years with my oldest son. While I would not characterize him as a moody guy, he does have more mood swings now than he did in his pre-teen years. Furthermore, my observation of other teens shows me that parents need a game plan for dealing with teenage mood swings.
Without a game plan, parents are like thermometers for the mood of their teens. Just like a thermometer reacts to the temperature, parents react to the mood of their teens. If the teen’s mood runs hot, the parent runs hot. This is not a good way to deal with a moody teen. If anything, it often makes bad situations worse.
On the other hand, when a parent has a game plan they are more like thermostats for their teen’s mood. Unlike thermometers, thermostats not only read the temperature, but they are also capable of adjusting the temperature. So, if a teen’s mood runs hot, the parent has the tools to intervene to lower the temperature. These tools include:
- Providing the opportunity for the teen to communicate and disagree without judgement
- Helping the teen focus on what they control and let go of the things he or she doesn’t control.
- Reframing the teens perception of the situation.
In short, successful parents behave like thermostats not thermometers. If you find yourself reacting to your child’s behavior like a thermometer, take a moment to reflect on what you can do differently. Then, adjust your mindset using this metaphor as a guide.