What it Means When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Let You Down
I hate to break this news to parents, but please don’t shoot the messenger. When your child feels like they don’t want to let you down, this is not a good thing. This means your child is living with fear as a result of the pressure they’re getting from you.
You may not feel like you’re putting pressure on your child, but you’re doing something. It may be that you openly speak about how much you sacrifice to send them to private school. Or it could be how you constantly talk about the cost to participate in travel sports. Maybe it’s the fact that you share with them your regrets and failures and how you want better for them.
It could be any subtle or not so subtle hint that makes a child feel pressure to not let you down. While it’s true that pressure can make diamonds, pressure can also burst pipes. Therefore, the outcome of pressure is largely dependent on how one learns to cope with it. However, if a parent doesn’t recognize their child is feeling pressure, they won’t spend time working on coping mechanisms to use the pressure to make a diamond.
That last sentence is the takeaway. Parents must recognize when their child feels pressure and then do something about it. When you child says they don’t want to let you down, this is an indication they are feeling pressure. It’s not that you need to remove that pressure, although this may ultimately be the best short term option. But in the long term it may be that your child’s personality tends to make them feel more pressure than others. If that’s the case, you can only help them by teaching them how to cope.