A Cautionary Tale for Parents with High Expectations Going Unmet
Everyone knows that low expectations are detrimental for kids. Especially parents who aspire for their children to be elite athletes. Low expectations are like kryptonite for sports parents. On the other hand, these same parents often ignore the detrimental impact of exceptionally high expectations.
While it may be good to challenge children with high expectations, parents can never forget how failing to meet expectations can impact a child’s mindset. Case in point is the story of former Philadelphia Eagle 1st round draft pick Marcus Smith.
Smith is what sports fans and commentators consider a draft bust. To put it differently, Smith didn’t come close to meeting the expectations of a 1st round pick. As a result, fans and sports commentators were extremely critical of him on social media, on the radio, and on television.
Unfortunately, Smith didn’t take this criticism well, which eventually led to a suicide attempt. Luckily, Smith’s mother-in-law happened to call him in the moment of the attempt and saved him. In addition, Smith was mindful enough to tell his coaches and get life saving help.
Smith’s failure to meet expectations caused depression and anxiety. He’s only 28 years old and is fortunate that after getting help he continues on as a father and husband. I urge parents to take heed of this tragic story with a happy ending. High expectations of young athletes must come with a mental skills tool-kit.
- Self-love and self-worth must not depend on meeting expectations. Young athletes must know their life is important no matter how they perform.
- Invest time in teaching young athletes coping skills to deal with pressure.
- Provide space for developing resilience. If young athletes only experience success, then they won’t build their capacity to bounce back from failure.