Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

Experts say it takes anywhere from 4 to 10 stages to complete a behavior change. On the high end there is Mezirow’s Theory of Transformation which suggest 10 stages:

1. A disorienting dilemma
2. A self examination with feelings of guilt or shame
3. A critical assessment of epistemic, sociocultural, or psychic assumptions
4. Recognition that one’s discontent and the process of transformation are shared and that others have negotiated a similar change
5. Exploration of options for new roles, relationships, and actions
6. Planning a course of action
7. Acquisition of knowledge and skills for implementing one’s plan
8. Provisional trying of new roles
9. Building of competence and self-confidence in new roles and relationships
10. A reintegration into one’s life on the basis of conditions dictated by one’s perspective

Removing much of this detail, some experts boil it down to just 4 stages:

1. Dilemma
2. Solution
3. Taking Action
4. Transformation

Then, there is the middle ground with 7 stages:

1. Recognition
2. Dilemma
3. Contemplation
4. Preparation
5. Taking Action
6. Transformation
7. Maintenance

All of these models are valid, so adopting one really just depends on the level of detail one likes. However, there is a critical element that you must not forget. Unquestionably, no behavior change becomes a permanent transformation the first time through these stages. Instead, it takes a normal person multiple iterations through these stages before a permanent transformation takes hold.

Consequently, behavior change is a cycle not a linear process and this is what most people tend to forget. Indeed, whether you are a parent, coach, or teacher it’s important to remember that it’s normal for people to relapse back to their old behaviors. This is not cause for concern, it’s just part of the process. As a result, it’s best to prepare in advance for the relapse stage and be ready to cycle through the stages of behavior change multiple times.