If You Want Your Kid to Find Their Path to Purpose, Don’t Make This Mistake
Yesterday I recommended that all parents read the book The Path to Purpose. The author William Damon is one of the world’s leading researchers on the development of purpose in youth. I think parents would be remiss to ignore the suggestions Damon makes in this book.
For example, one of the nuggets of wisdom he shares is a subtle but stark warning to parents. He states:
…with best intentions, adults in recent years have been busy talking young people out of their natural idealism and into a posture of heightened material concern. Often this is done out of a sense of fearful expedience, for the sake of helping the young person get ahead in today’s competitive marketplace. Such a stance is shaky for young people not only because it is unnatural for their period of life but also because it has no sustaining conviction of its own. It is a timid and pessimistic stance that inspires neither wholehearted effort nor lasting allegiance.
In addition, Damon highlights why this “natural idealism” is so important in the early years of development:
Youth is a time of idealism–or at least it should be. There is ample time later to rein in one’s dreams to conform to the inevitable constraints of the world; but a human life that does not begin with idealistic aspirations is likely to be a barren one.
Don’t Steal Your Child’s Idealism
So if you want your kid to find their path to purpose, don’t steal their idealism. Don’t overemphasize the advantages of careers that make you rich or provide status. Also don’t overemphasize the disadvantages of careers that provide the opposite. Let kids explore their ideas and dreams without stealing their joy with practicality. This is how children discover their passions and the motivations that innately make them tick.
If parents push the practical too often and too soon, kids never learn what innately brings them joy. Instead, they learn how to please others and do what society expects of them. This surely will distract them from finding their path to purpose.