Now is the Time for Youth Wrestling Parents to Give Wrestlers Autonomy
Autonomy is one of the primary drivers of self-motivation. Autonomy is also the opposite of having someone else control what you do. When someone else controls what you do, it’s demotivating.
In the case of youth wrestling, many wrestling parents control far too much of the process outside of practice. It’s a fact that the best youth wrestlers spend a lot of time training outside of the normal practice schedule. These extra training sessions are often driven by parents. However, when it comes to the the best of the best wrestlers, they drive their parents more than their parents drive them.
Furthermore, the only way a wrestler can drive their parents is when their parents provide them with autonomy. If a wrestler is never given autonomy, how will they learn how to drive themselves to be the best? Do you think a parent can force this to happen by controlling them? Not likely at all.
Therefore, wrestling parents must stop over scheduling their kids in training sessions outside of normal practice time. Instead, give young wrestlers more free time in their schedule to do what they want. If they choose to waste their time, so be it. If they choose to work on their goals, mission accomplished. The only feedback a parent should give them is their progress in reaching their goals. Parents must show that they trust them to take corrective action if needed, and that they trust their decisions.
Unquestionably, if a parent has been driving their kid hard to be the best up to this point, providing this autonomy will not go well at the start. That is why starting right now is ideal.
At some point, all children stop listening to their parents. No matter how much a parent wants to control their child, it won’t be possible forever. Children must learn to make choices about their free time without parental input. The sooner they start making these choices the better. Experience is the only way to learn the lesson of using time wisely.