Two Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Push Children With External Motivation
External motivation could be anything from yelling or physical punishment to offering monetary rewards or treats. Pushing children with external motivation is an all too common parenting technique. One that I also rely on far too often just as other parents. However, there are two main reasons why parents must work harder to rely less on external motivation.
1) Once You Start, You Might Not Be Able to Stop
Firstly, there are numerous psychological research studies that show external motivation reduces and sometimes eliminates self-motivation. For example, once you start paying someone to do something that person will refuse to do that activity or do it with lower quality unless they continue to get paid the same amount or more. This rule of thumb applies to all sorts of external motivations not just monetary motivation.
Therefore, if you want your child to adopt a long term behavior that’s beneficial in itself, think twice. Avoid using external motivators for things like this at all cost.
2) External Motivations Can Drive Bad Behavior
Secondly, external motivation is often a precursor for unethical behavior. When a child is locked in on earning a reward or avoiding a punishment, then that’s the only thing that matters to them. These short term blinders will narrow their vision and cloud their judgement.
Similarly, even if unethical behavior is not a risk in the short term, short term thinking still leads to taking shortcuts. Furthermore, taking shortcuts can lead to injury, low quality, and loss of potential. Each of which are common outcomes when a child’s motivation comes from attempting to earn a reward or avoid a punishment.