Good Parenting Comes Down to Doing Less of This and More of That
Being a good parent isn’t easy and it’s not hard either. It just is. There is no class that prepares you, and you’re never really ready for the job. What’s more, on the job training is the only way to get better.
With this in mind, we can all admit there are at least as many bad parents out there as there are good parents. Based on the state of our society, I’m sure many would argue that there are more bad than good. Nevertheless, what do you think separates the bad from the good?
- Do bad parents raise kids who become bad parents?
- Do good parents raise kids who become good parents?
- Or can this be reversed in some twisted way as a result of environmental factors out of the control of the parent and child?
I would argue that these are valid questions that could only be answered with a multi-generational research study. In lieu of that, there is one observation I see as the foundation of all good parenting that brings me to write this today.
More often than not, good parenting is the result of parents making their parenting decisions all about nurturing the nature of their kids. On the other hand, bad parenting is the result of parents making their parenting decisions all about them. A good example of this is when a sports parent tries to live vicariously through their child athlete. This almost always leads to bad parenting. A good parent would never make their child’s athletic career about them. Similarly, this would apply to academics, music, art, or any other activity a child participates.
To that end, the best way to evaluate if parenting decisions are leading to bad parenting is to apply a simple test. Are you making decisions to help you look good or avoid looking bad? If so, do less of this. Then ask if you’re making decisions to help nurture the nature of your child and not change the child’s nature. If so, do more of that.