Shaming Kids After A Bad Wrestling Match Stunts Two Personality Types
Wrestling is a tough sport and everyone has bad matches. Often, it’s difficult for a coach or parent to hold their tongue when a wrestler lets a match they should have won slip through their fingers. While feedback immediately after a match may be necessary, it’s never really a good idea to shame a kid after a bad wrestling match. This is even more true for some personality types than others.
Below are the big five personality traits I’m using as my reference point.
- Openness: Known for their curiosity, imagination, and ingenuity
- Conscientiousness: Has a tendency for perfectionism
- Extroversion: Outgoing, energetic, and talkative on a consistent basis
- Agreeableness: Typically behaves in a manner that’s considerate, generous, forgiving and trusting
- Neuroticism: Driven by emotion and is often moody
Of these five personality types, two require caution when providing overley negative and emotional feedback: Conscientiousness and Neuroticism. The other three personality types might generally respond well to shaming depending on the situation and the manner of delivery. However, shaming those who are very conscientious or neurotic could be detrimental to their long term growth.
Be Mindful When Coaching Conscientious and Neurotic Wrestlers
Conscientious wrestlers are already risk averse because of their tendency to be perfectionist. Shaming them will exacerbate this tendency. You can’t be a great wrestler without taking risk. So anything you do that prevents a conscientious wrestler from growing their ability to take risk is a problem.
Wrestlers with the neuroticism personality trait have very high highs and very low lows. This means on any given day they could either be clutch or choke. Shaming a neurotic wrestler right after an emotional match is sure to send them spiralling down an emotional hole that’s going to be hard to recover from. It’s never a good idea to do this as it just makes a bad situation worse. Public outburst are not only embarrassing, but can also cause irreparable damage to relationships. Shaming a neurotic wrestler right after a bad match will likely trigger these outburst.
As difficult as it may be for a coach or parent to hold their tongue, it’s more often than not the right course of action right after a bad match. There is always time for coaching down the road. Generally speaking, the only thing a wrestler needs when they come off the mat is a sip of water, a hug, and a pat on the back.