Talking With Teens About Their Strengths Improves Relationship Quality
Today I came across some new research that reinforces my strong advocacy for strengths based coaching.
Researchers at the University of Alabama at Birmingham “compared how often parents and teens discussed strengths and weaknesses alongside how well the two communicate, how much the teen discloses to the parent, and how close the parent and teen were.”
The research found that:
the frequency of communication about strengths have unique and meaningful contributions to relationship quality, general communication and disclosure.
In other words, the more parents talk with their kids about their strengths the better the kids will view their relationship with their parents. In addition, the research also finds that balancing feedback to discuss both strengths and weaknesses is not as effective as just discussing strengths. This is because teens remember talking about their weaknesses far more often.
Don’t interpret this to mean that you should not ever provide constructive criticism to a teen. I think the better interpretation is to not wait to provide feedback to your child only when something goes wrong or right. Instead, make strengths based conversations part of your routine.
With this in mind, a great place to start is by reading the Strengths Based Parenting book by Mary Reckmeyer. In addition, you may also want to consider a strengths based coaching program for both you and your child to participate in together.