A Warning for Parents to Not Try to Mold Their Child Too Much
It’s almost natural for a parent who is a former athlete to push their children to play sports. The same goes for former musicians. If a parent has an affinity for a specific activity, it’s very common for that parent to push their child to learn to love that same activity. There is generally nothing wrong with this.
However, once a child makes it clear that their interest are different and the parent ignores this, the problems start. Often, at this point a parent believes they can mold a child to be something they’re not. Trying to mold a child has limits and risk more harm than good. There is a fantastic quote shared in the Strengths Based Parenting book by Mary Reckmeyer that highlights these risks.
As adults, we need to be careful about how we judge kids. We can make them doubt themselves. We can make it harder for them to be great. We can even crush them. But we can’t really change them. We can’t make them who they aren’t, but we can make it easier and happier for them to be who they are.
If a child has no interest in athletics, but the parent insists they play sports, the parent is judging that child. This judgement leads to self-doubt, and this self-doubt will make life harder for the child as well as limit their potential.
One thing a parent can do in this situation is to treat the activity the child doesn’t have interest in as a hobby. When an activity is just a hobby, there is no pressure. At the same time, the parent should show interest in the other activities the child does enjoy. In addition, invest in those other activities with the same enthusiasm as if it were the parent’s own passion.