5 Behaviors Parents Should Reinforce To Raise Mentally Tough Children
Children aren’t born mentally tough. Some children may be more predisposed to behaviors that lead to mental toughness, but ultimately mental toughness is developmental.
There are many ways to describe and define mental toughness. For example, some time ago I came up with 15 statements that define mental toughness inside-out. The one theme across all of these 15 statements is that mental toughness is the ability to execute a combination of capabilities.
With that said, there is no easy way a parent can focus on teaching their children to embrace all of these capabilities. Although, I don’t believe this is even necessary. Rather, if a parent focuses on reinforcing these 5 behaviors below, I believe a child will develop their mental toughness naturally.
1) Have an Attitude of Gratitude
When you feel good about yourself, it’s much easier to remain mentally strong in the face of adversity. The best way to do this is to simply be grateful for what you have and don’t worry about what you don’t have.
As stated best by the author of the book MENTAL TOUGHNESS G. S. Baker:
Successful people are people who feel grateful for who they are, for those who have them by their side, for what they have achieved, for the challenges that life has posed for them, for being alive…
2) Compete With Yourself More, and Less With Others
When you compete with yourself you always have a competitor around to motivate you. On the other hand, you can only compete with others when others are around. Understanding this simple fact is a game changer. As the saying goes, iron sharpens iron. So when you are your own iron, you can constantly be in the process of sharpening.
In addition, when your #1 competitor is the man/woman in the mirror, all outside competitors become just sparring partners to make you better. This little mental shift is often the difference between good and great.
3 ) Consistent Use of Goal Progression Techniques
Goal progression is the process of gradually moving towards a more advanced state. There are multiple beginner steps in a progression you must master before you move on to intermediate and advance steps.
There are numerous examples that prove the use of a goal progression is the best technique to attack a long term goal. However, most people lack the patience to take this approach. Instead, most want to become experts, champions, or millionaires overnight. You must teach your children to avoid this thinking.
There is not one person alive who became a finished product overnight. Success simply doesn’t happen overnight. Teach your children that it’s better to make small, steady progress than to make no progress at all.
4) Don’t Waste Time Complaining
Complaining is a habit. A very bad habit at that. People who complain take time and energy from making the most of the hand they’re dealt. This is a waste of mental resources.
Mentally tough people don’t complain, they take action. They’re experts in turning lemons into lemonade.
5) Celebrate The Success of Others
Teaching your children that they are not the center of the world may be the greatest lesson of them all. A large percentage of the mental anguish humans face comes from taking ourselves too seriously.
When you learn to celebrate others you also learn to take this pressure of being the center of the world off of yourself. You see yourself as part of a larger community, and learn to find peace when that community is thriving. The only path to mental toughness is through finding this peace within.