Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

Like many parents, I’m pretty hard on myself. I’m always worrying about my parenting decisions. One day I will worry if I’m being too hard on my kids. Then, the next day I will worry if I’m being too soft on them. One day I will worry if I’m spending too much money on my kids. Then, the next day I will worry that I’m not spending enough.

I know I’m not alone. All parents who want the best for their children have similar worries. The fact is, a parent worrying about how their parenting style will impact their child will never go away.

As much as we all would love to just get over this, there is no need to fight it. Instead, the best thing to do is to just manage these worries with these 7 steps.

1. Accept the fact that you worry, but don’t let it overwhelm you
2. Learn the facts about parenting styles and understand the type of parenting style that you are using to raise your kids.
3. Write bullet points of the pros and cons of each parenting style and decide if you need to adjust your current style of parenting.
4. Make decisions based on facts.
5. Be consistent with your decision making process by running every decision through the same fact based process.
6. If you don’t like the outcome of your decisions, change your decision making process instead of worrying about the decision itself.
7. Consider using the principles of Strengths Based Parenting developed by Gallup. For example, decide what camps, tutors, and private coaching your child needs based on investing in their strengths instead of their weaknesses.  Research shows that the best way to help your child is to develop their strengths and manage their weaknesses.