Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

The ability for parents to help their teen mature into the best version of themselves is a parenting dream. Everyone knows that teens have many unique problems that make this stage of development challenging.

However, these unique development challenges provide as many opportunities as it does problems. Other than the ages from 0 to 3 years old, research shows that the adolescent years provide the best opportunity to influence a child.

With that said, the first step parents must take to influence behavior change in teens is to commit to acting with consistency around the change they want to see. Yesterday I wrote that consistency was the critical character trait you need to become the person you want to be. This same theory applies to influencing behavior change in a teen.

The goal of consistency is to prevent the detrimental cycle of starting and stopping. Everytime you start something then stop, you reset the clock. Constantly resetting the clock is a change killer. Every time you reset the clock the change gets harder and harder. To the point where changing is nearly impossible once you pass the point of starting and stopping too often.

How to Prevent The Cycle of Starting and Stopping

To prevent getting in a cycle of starting and stopping use the concept of a minimum viable change (MVC). Basically, an MVC is the smallest possible change that can be made while still making a difference. This change must have at least three characteristics:

1. Easy to implement
2. Impactful in some type of visible or measurable way
3. Build momentum

The path to influencing behavior change in teens starts with taking time to find the MVC relevant to the change, then being consistent with it.

Here is a real simple and obvious example. If a teen has trouble keeping their room clean, the MVC may be just to get them to make their bed. A parent can track the days each month they make their bed using a calendar to mark the days they do and they don’t. Then keep the tracking calendar in a visible place as a scorecard. Once a certain threshold of days in the month of success is surpassed, incrementally add additional changes. Such as no clothes on the floor the next month, keeping the closet clean the month after, so on and so forth.

In order for this to work, there must be a discussion around the purpose of keeping your room clean. In addition, the teen must buy-in to the purpose.

These last two points should not be overlooked. Influencing behavior change using a MVC won’t work unless the teen understand and believes in the purpose for the change. This combination of MVC plus purpose is a magical formula. If you can get this right, influencing change in a teen becomes a whole lot easier.