The Truth About Raising a Self-Motivated Child
Raising a self-motivated child is one of the many parenting goals for all parents. This requires parents to be very intentional in how they discuss choices and decision making. Parents must teach their child to understand how short term pleasure and long term sacrifice impacts their future. In addition, parents must show their child why goals are impacted by how they use their free time.
These are three very difficult lessons parents have to figure out how to teach if they want to raise a self-motivated child.
- Choices and decision making
- The trade-off between short-term pleasure and long term sacrifice
- Using free time wisely
Some People Must Hit Rock Bottom Before They Become Self-Motivated
However, the truth is that a parent can do everything within their control to teach these three lessons and their child still may not be self-motivated. This is a hard truth, but it’s reality.
Parents can talk, teach, and show until they’re blue in the face. Their child still won’t get up on time, do their homework without being reminded, or complete chores without fear of punishment. This is a fact. Some kids will get it and some won’t.
Once parents accept this, then they will also accept that this is okay. The goal is to raise a self-motivated child not to have a self-motivated child. It takes some people years and possibly a lifetime to learn how to self-motivate themselves.
As parents we have 18 to 21 of those years to help. The fact is some people have to hit rock bottom before they become self-motivated. As long as a parent instills the values that lead to self-motivation over those 18 to 21 years, then eventually that child will figure it out.
Obviously the hope is that it won’t take rock bottom to get the child there. However, if rock bottom does become that final lesson, all a parent can do is be there to support their adult child’s continued growth.