Resilience at its highest level is the ability to bounce back from failure. It stems from:
- having a belief that hard work pays off,
- understanding cause and effect,
- having a willingness to delay gratification,
- understanding that adversity makes one stronger, and
- being able to keep one’s composure in the face of emotional let downs.
The #1 verbal clue that a child is lacking in resilience surfaces right after a close or controversial loss in a competitive situation. If in this type of situation that child makes an excuse such as “that wasn’t fair” or “they cheated“, then there is a high likelihood that child is lacking resilience.
In short, making excuses for losing is the clearest warning sign of lacking resilience. It shows a lack of having an “internal locus of control” which is a critical characteristic of resilience.