The #1 Reason Carrot and Stick Motivation is Harmful to Children
Carrot and stick motivation should be avoided by parents with very few exceptions. Contrary to popular belief, carrot and stick motivation will drive more behavior you don’t want than driving the behavior you do want.
The reason for this is that carrot and stick motivation promotes short-term tactical thinking over long term strategic thinking. However, that’s not the worst of it. Short term tactical thinking not in the context of long term strategic thinking has one particularly dangerous side effect.
The Dangerous Side Effect Caused by Carrot and Stick Motivation
The dangerous side effect of carrot and stick motivation is unethical behavior.
When a child is locked in on earning a reward or avoiding a punishment, then that’s the only thing that matters to them. These short term blinders will narrow their vision and cloud their judgement.
For example, if a child is truly in fear of punishment for getting a bad grade, then the child may lie or cheat to avoid this punishment. They will lie to their parents about their grades or they will cheat on test to get better grades. What’s more, if they get away with this unethical behavior with no real consequences the child will make this unethical behavior their norm.
In this example, if a parent thinks that fear is the only way to motivate good behavior, the reality may actually be that the fear is motivating bad behavior.
The reverse of this example is also true. Rewarding children with payment for good grades can drive lying and cheating as well for similar reasons.
The bottom line is that carrot and sticks don’t account for unethical behavior. Carrot and stick motivation is outcome focused only, not process focused.
Without doubt, raising children is much more about teaching process than measuring outcomes. Outcomes are important, but outcomes don’t last forever. Just like the old saying goes: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.