Three Methods to Help Athletes Who Are Dominated by their Ego
Yesterday I wrote about the basics of goal perspective theory. In short, there are two perspectives: task orientation and ego orientation. Furthermore, athletes who have a ego orientation don’t perform well when facing difficult challenges.
With this in mind, there are three basic methods to help athletes who let their ego dominate their performance.
1) Put a Heavy Emphasis on Process
Help your athlete create multiple process goals for every one outcome goal. For example, if your athlete has a goal to be a national wrestling champion, then ask them what daily and weekly routines they think they will need to achieve this goal. This may include things like:
- Do 500 pull-ups and 500 push-ups each week.
- Stay after every practice to drill my best moves for an additional 30 minutes.
- Perform conditioning drills 4 days a week to build my conditioning to the point where I can run a 12 minute, 2 mile.
2) Provide Constructive Feedback that Shows Them You Value Process over Outcomes
This method is 100% about the parent and coach. Too often feedback is on outcomes such as winning and losing. It would be a good idea to go completely cold turkey on outcome feedback.
Instead, direct all feedback towards the process. Help your athlete track their processes. In addition, help them gauge if they are on or off track with their progress.
3) Go Over and Beyond to Show them You Value ‘Who They Are’ NOT ‘What They Do’
Many parents and coaches inadvertently show more love when athletes have positive outcomes. The truth is, parents and coaches don’t love their athletes less when they lose or love them more when they win. However, this is what it feels like when a child gets taken to a special dinner after a win and leftovers after they lose. So the first step to show a kid that you value them is to treat them the same no matter the outcome.
Secondly, try to spend time learning more about what your athlete enjoys outside of sports. Find those things that they have interest in, but aren’t yet very good at doing. Spend time with them on the process of just enjoying that activity for the sake of doing that activity, not necessarily on mastery.
If the focus on every activity is mastery, you will further reinforce their ego. So the goal is to find something you and your athlete can do together that’s just for fun with winning and losing not being a measurable outcome.