Fact Check – Sports Parents Must Be More than Cheerleaders
I often write about my journey from being a crazy sports dad to where I am now. However, I think I may have confused some people to where “now” is.
To the far right extreme is the crazy sports mom or dad who is in full on drill sergeant mode. To the other extreme on the far left is the sport parent cheerleader who is completely hands off.
With my oldest son I for sure started off in drill sergeant mode. By the time my second son was old enough to play sports I knew my methods weren’t sustainable. For a short period I went to the other extreme and tried to reform myself by becoming just a cheerleader. It didn’t take long for me to realize that this wasn’t the right approach either.
In just being a cheerleader, I felt there was something missing. First off, my boys didn’t like me just dropping them off at practice and then picking them up. I know that every kid is different, but from my experience all kids love it when their parents take interest in what they are doing by watching. So staying at practice and watching is always a good idea when possible with younger athletes.
Clearly you have to be careful with practice when you have those crazy dad/mom tendencies like me. It’s pretty instinctual for parents to want to give feedback about practice after they watch their child perform. The key here is to fight those instincts. Feedback about practice is usually the last thing a kid wants unless they explicitly ask for it. Even then, I would still tend to not say much.
The Not Bad Sports Parent
So where does this leave you? Somewhere in the middle of being crazy and lazy. Bottom line is that being the perfect sports parent is impossible. However, it’s possible to be a not bad sports parent.
Being a not bad sports parent is helping your child set goals, but not forcing them to do what it takes to reach them. It’s not setting the goals and forgetting them either. It’s that fine line somewhere in between.
Being a not bad sports parent is helping your child face reality, but not being overly critical of their performance. It’s not giving fake positive feedback either. Again, it’s that fine line somewhere in between.
Being a not bad sports parent is helping your child explore their choices, without giving them the answer. It’s not narrowing down the choices so that every choice is a good choice either. The fine line here is allowing them to make bad choices even when you know the choice is bad, but also not letting them go off a cliff.
In short, the not bad sports parent is a parent that has balance. A little bit of crazy, a little bit of cheerleader, and a whole lot of love. This is where I’m at now, and I feel each day I’m getting closer to that fine line of being not that bad of a dad.