Front Running vs. Loyalty in Youth Sports: There is No Right Answer
A few months ago I wrote an article about how loyalty in youth sports is under appreciated and not valued. It is one of the most popular post I have on this blog to this day. It’s also been shared more than any other post I’ve written.
I believe the reason for this is because so many people either love or hate my perspective. In short, the article is polarizing and polarizing topics are interesting to people. However, the debate this article is generating in the youth sports community was still initially surprising to me.
When I wrote this article, I thought choosing loyalty over front running was a non-debatable topic. In my mind, it just seems like an obvious choice. After all, parents expect their children to be loyal to family and loyalty is foundational to being patriotic. But now I realize that this doesn’t mean loyalty is everyone’s top priority.
What’s more, I now accept that it’s just fine for people to value being associated with a winning team over being loyal to a team. While my previous article on this topic was an attempt to basically shame those who didn’t value loyalty over front running, this article is an attempt to reframe that debate.
Everybody Has Different Values and Youth Sports is Proof of This
The fact of the matter is that every individual has different values and priorities for what they value. According to research by PH.D. psychologist Steven Reiss, the drive of a human’s motivation comes from one or more of the 16 basic desires depicted above. In addition, not all desires are relevant to all people, as many people may only value one or two. Furthermore, his research shows that it’s human nature to prioritize certain desires over others.
In the framework of the 16 desires, the desire to root for or be on a winning team is classified under status, and the desire to stay loyal to a team is classified under honor. To clarify, I am not talking about front running in terms of an individual performance or the will to compete to win, as this is classified under power and/or vengeance.
In addition, how much one values the will to compete to win for the sake of power or vengeance as well as the priority of the combined 16 desires does matter in this debate. An individual’s mix of values and how one prioritizes those values is a big part of what makes them unique. This plays a significant role into how they view the loyalty vs. front running debate.
Parents Are More Likely to Choose The Path of Like Minds
What the research of Reiss shows is that parents will choose experiences based on how their values are wired. Parents who value status, are likely to switch teams often to make sure their kid is on the best team at all times. While parents who value honor are more likely to stick with a team and if that parent is competitive do what it takes to build that team into a winner.
The struggle starts when parents on these polarizing sides bump heads with each other. One side can’t understand the other because there’s no common ground to stand on. Simply stated, their brains don’t think the same so the only option is to agree to disagree.
Ultimately, there is no right or wrong answer in this debate. What matters is that everyone remain respectful to each other when others choose a path different than their own.