Chris Mance II - Mental Skills Coach

When kids don’t value sacrifice, anytime they are practicing instead of playing they feel like they’re missing out. This is why sacrifice is second to only purpose when it comes to the core values that lead young athletes to develop self-motivation.

Today, I asked 10 kids who play sports between 9 and 13 years old to define sacrifice. I almost got the same answer from each of them…

“Sacrifice is giving up something”

This definition is spot on minus the implied fact that sacrifice is not only giving up something, it’s giving up something important or valued. With this in mind, teaching a young athlete to value sacrifice must start with knowing that there are many things they shouldn’t sacrifice. For example, you should never encourage kids to sacrifice:

• sleep
• time with family
• recovery time
• and most importantly, balance

Each of those sacrifices are those that adults make all the time. The truth is however, these type of sacrifices don’t lead kids to develop self-motivation, they lead to burn out. Instead the type of sacrifices kids should focus on are:

• playing video games
• eating unhealthy foods
• phone and social media time

How to Start Teaching a Child to Value Sacrifice

There are only two things that parents must do to teach a child to value sacrifice.

1. Personally model this value in front of their kids
2. Set boundaries and routines that establish appropriate habits

First, if a parent is not working towards a goal that requires sacrifice it’s hard to tell a kid that they should. We all know that kids don’t do what you say, they do what they see. For example, if a parent constantly talks about losing weight in front of their kids and continues to consume unhealthy comfort foods in front of them, then they are setting a bad precedent. The parent is showing they don’t have self-motivation to sacrifice the foods they love to reach their goal. The best thing a parent can do to teach self-motivation is to show their own self-motivation.

Second, will-power doesn’t build habits, boundaries and routines do. So if you want a kid to learn how to sacrifice playing video games for example, establish strict limits on gaming time. When a child gets bored because they can’t do what they want, a gaping window opens to talk about goals, sacrifice, and how they can replace that time with something productive. Over time, forcing a healthy routine will turn into a default habit. Once you get past their resistance (which can be very challenging), your child will wear their sacrifices as a badge of honor. They will grow proud that they are sacrificing while their friends are not.

Altogether, this combination of modeling sacrifice and making sacrifice routine leads kids to value sacrifice. Combine this with the first core value of purpose, and almost like magic self-motivation starts to become the rule instead of the exception.