Are Your Children Motivated by Happiness or Satisfaction?
Happiness and satisfaction are two distinct things. This is according to research done by the winner of the 2002 Nobel Prize in economics, psychologist Daniel Kahneman. In a very good article in Quatrz Magazine covering Kahneman’s research they explain the difference like this:
Happiness is a momentary experience that arises spontaneously and is fleeting. Meanwhile, satisfaction is a long-term feeling, built over time and based on achieving goals and building the kind of life you admire.
What’s more, Kahneman’s research suggest that happiness is a product of social bonding, while satisfaction is a product of social comparisons.
…in Kahneman’s research measuring everyday happiness—the experiences that leave people feeling good—he found that spending time with friends was highly effective. Yet those focused on long-term goals that yield satisfaction don’t necessarily prioritize socializing, as they’re busy with the bigger picture.
…Kahneman argues that satisfaction is based mostly on comparisons. “Life satisfaction is connected to a large degree to social yardsticks–achieving goals, meeting expectations.” He notes that money has a significant influence on life satisfaction, whereas happiness is affected by money only when funds are lacking.
Driving Your Child’s Self-motivation Through Happiness or Satisfaction
Kahneman’s insights provide additional clues for spotting what drives your child’s self-motivations. These clues then help you accommodate your child’s motivations with subtle changes to your everyday life.
For example, if happiness drives your child then you should:
- Focus much of your effort around making sure your child has positive influences around to bond with them.
- Try to make your home the center of friendships instead of it being at someone else’s home.
- Be intentional about inviting cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents to family gatherings both at home and on vacations.
On the other hand, if satisfaction dries your child then you should:
- Make sure your child tracks their goals and keeps a checklist of what they want to accomplish.
- Encourage your child to compete with themselves instead of competing with others.
- Look for ways to help your child volunteer. You can then channel their desire to achieve progress through their church, in the community, at school, or by helping those less fortunate.