Use This Question to Assess If Your Raising a Balanced Student Athlete
One of the most important things a parent raising children who are competitive in sports can do is make sure there is balance.
- Balance between creativity and competitiveness.
- Balance between values and goals.
- As well as balance between pushing a child out of their comfort zone and self-motivation.
Early on as a father, I failed at this. My oldest son started wrestling when he was 6, and by the time he was 8 it was all wrestling all the time. I was determined to help him get better, whether he liked it or not. This attitude was detrimental to his growth. Our relationship and his development was way out of balance. You can read about one shameful event that illustrates this failure here.
Looking back, I now know how I could have easily assessed that I was going too far by asking him a simple question.
“What Defines You?”
Asking this question to a young person will reveal so much about how in or out of balance they are. For example, if a kid gave you just the responses below, would you think they were in balance?
I am defined by being…
- a winner
- the fastest kid on my team
- a state champion
- the strongest kid my age
How about if they provided the above responses while also adding the following?
I am also defined by being…
- funny
- a hard worker
- kind
- a competitor
- happy
- a leader
- a person who never gives up
- disciplined
- creative
The first set of responses alone are a clear indication a child is out of balance. These responses indicate that they define themselves by external characteristics out of their control. The second set of responses are internal characteristics defined from within. The combination of the two sets of responses shows clear balance.
The fact of the matter is that balance is the key to sustaining long term success. More specifically, balance prevents burnout. If a child is out of balance their words will reveal it, and the first thing you must do is listen.